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jss | work | writing | aboutme | projects |
newer writing is done on my afaik page.
this morning on my way to work.. there was a small side street i was driving down. my lane was blocked by a very long semi and trailer.. some sort of moving company. approaching in the other lane was a bicyclist. i figured.. bikers ride along cars normally and there were no other cars around.. so i cautiously got in the other lane to drive around the semi trailer. well, apparently i displeased the biker because he spat on my windshield as he drove by.
today was the first day with no plain m&m's in the vending machine at work. this is twice now i've worked somewhere that didn't stock them. talking with the vendor, it turns out they don't sell as well as the peanut and crispy varieties.
a concept i thought about tonight.. familiar strangers. it's when you're in the backseat getting a ride home or just out with frends or somewhere quiet sharing coffee with someone and you just kinda let your mind stray and distance yourself from the situation and the person or people in front of you seem like strangers like you're observing people you don't know but there's some measureable level of comfort, perhaps the only thing separating them, from your perspective, from complete strangers.
recently i've been thinking about childhood and what makes you grown up. grown-ups seem to know what to do in different situations. how to fix things. and how to take care of themselves. they know what's going on. but wait, i know some stuff.. i've impressed people and people have come to me with questions i could answer. and no matter how grown up i feel, the moment i'm with family, i'm a kid all over again. funny, that.
yesterday i was thinking about this terrible driver i saw on the road (one of many, believe me) and when i was a small child in a kid's seat in the back, i was disgusted. how can someone with a small child do things like zoom down the freeway, not use turn signals, and zoom up to and tailgate other cars?
in the world news section today.. the headline, "elian heads back to school." not sure if i should be rolling my eyes or shaking my head. i think i'll do both.
mcdonalds has mechanized the fast food industry to the point where one can order a cookbook set of menu items by saying a number. and yet, my "number two mean, large sized, with a sprit", continues to get incorrectly assembled. tonight was the third time in a row. preconfigured meals work great for the orderer -- but what about the person filling the order?
today i was chatting with a friend online about thinking.. i mentioned that sometimes i wonder if other peopel think about the same things that i do.. my friend said they do, but nobody says anything, probably having the same question that i have. then i remarked, "makes for a silent world. kept warm by gears turning. like a computer." and then i thought about what i'd just said. it seemed to be one of those things that you say that shuts you up because you wonder how profound it was.
at one time i thought i would create an autobiography in photographs. i thought back to all the photographs i've taken. the black and white ones i developed by hand. the color ones, commercially processed. and now, the digital images i take with my digital camera. and i realized i've already created one.
so it was pretty late at night. i was in san francisco sitting on a bench in front of a restaurant. this bum sits down next to me. i closed the journal i was writing in. "write this down in your diary, will ya?" he says. "if you want real peace of mind, you have to do exactly what you want to do." he left. i wrote it down. i thought it for a minute. i underlined the quote as i do all my realizations/revelations in my journal. i was thinking about how every now and then we need reminders of stuff like this.
the coolest thing about public self-expression is that when people react, you get a outside perspective of your inside. and i think this is generally a healthy thing now and then as it can become difficult to see the forrest for the trees.
sometimes inside things never make it to the outside. i need to correct this more often than i do.
at one time, being independent seemed like something i was doomed to be. then it seemed something i wanted to be. now i find it almost impossible to attain. i guess i believe in a 'russian dolls' style of thinking; you have to be a whole, independent unit before you can become part of something larger.
I'm going to write my own storyline. Who ever thought a resolution-in-thirty-minutes show like Dawson's Creek would produce such a profound line. Ok, so maybe it's not that great, but here's what it made me think of:
What if your life was a screenplay.. all of your past has already happened, you have no "magical extras" by way of money, posessions, experience, etc., what storyline for the next twenty-four house would you write?
nothing for a while. life trudges on. this month i've gotten a lot of doing, visiting, and thinking done. time to start implementing. trying, anyways.
so last weekend i dyed my hair blue. its taking me a while to get used to people staring. "you'd be better off in san francisco!" some old guy yelled at me.
web address??? puhleeze. too much hype. the internet domain name mogul network solutions is the registrar for domain names. and now they're teaching people incorrect jargon. and i hate it.
There is a new study that shows joining an online community of more than 50 million people globally is causing increasing lonliness and depression.
"i'm looking for
baggage that
goes with mine.."
-- angel, from "rent"
remembering something sad and not letting it ruin your day is a good thing.
it takes time to see who your friends are and are not. but over time it will be apparent. just be sure they know you're their friend as well.
let's be friends. this is a good thing. life already deals enough shit as it is, no need to build up an army of enemies and adversaries. but after you part ways with an ex-significant-other, take your own time to grieve and let it pass. when you're fully ready, then give the ex- a call to see how things are going.
your friends will be there before, during, and after any romantic relationships.
don't change yourself for anybody.
Every once in a while.. Take a step back. Look at you. look at the other person. What's wrong? What's missing? talk to your best friend about it. you might find you had (or have) a lot more than you thought.
An observation for those who are looking for that special someone: the more you look, the less you will find.
A relationship is an intersection of two lives. Every life is in flux and a state.. if the states and positions of those two lives aren't congruent, the relationship probably won't be healty. This also makes me wonder how long-term relationships work. Every everybody's life changes, what are the chances that your life will make the same change as your partner's? I guess once two lives are retrofitted to work with each other, changes become unified. Is this healthy for personal growth?
Lets be friends. This seems possible. If some sort of mutual parting-of-ways is the conclusion of your relationship, I don't understand why you have to become enemies. But it seems you shouldn't try to be friends right away. Spend some time apart. Do your own thing. Then if you happen to cross each other's path down the road, say hello.
In a single press release (which Yahoo! has since taken off its website), Microsoft's Steve Ballmer shows off "hot, new" technology.. 3d graphics for desktop publishing. Everybody knows that Apple is the platform for desktop publishing. He then says Microsoft is still committed to the Macintosh platform. Oops! This new technology won't be available for Apples. Hmm, isn't the US Federal Government suing Microsoft for anti-competitive practices? Oh, by the way, why won't the new stuff be available for Apples? Because it's being built into the Windows Operating system? Hmmmmmmmm.....
Attention old CIO people. Yes, you eat Microsoft Cereal for Windows Users every morning. Get over it. Your business deserves more than sugar coating. Go UNIX. Your enterprise will thank you.
Microsoft is adding more than 20 million lines of code to NT. Don't think they'll add any bugs, do ya? By the way, Sun Solaris (which outperforms NT on the same hardware) is only around 16 million lines of code. *clue*
Yes, I own more than 5 computers and I use them all. They can play graphical games, browse the web, play my music, serve my webpages, keep my room warm, and remind me to pay my bills all with free software and without the "help" of Microsoft.
Attention new DSL subscribers. Just because you have 1.54megabits of bandwidth doesn't mean you'll see that kind of speed on websites. Plus, just deal with one computer and/or a proxy server instead of excersizing lack-of-clue as to what network address translation is.
death to <>. it's the only "website-no-no" not excersized in the most poorly designed commercial website i've ever seen, http://www.lpcommunications.com.
The web: a true cross-platform publishing medium. Java: a true cross-platform software language. Why do I need 800x600x"Millions of Colors" to view your website, and why do I need the Flash plugin, and why is your site best viewed with Netscape, and why is your Java application only run on Microsoft Windows? Because you are a clueless lemming.
Attention web-graphic designers. You know your animated GIF-- it has no delay in the loop, your ugly little graphic goes by too fast for me to see. Oh, and your colors don't dither right; your site looks like crap (and there is nothing wrong with my computer).
tips for california drivers
Lots of 'road rage' today.
Attention Asian Drivers. To the 5 old Asian drivers in the ugly shiny American car: please notice those swerving around you. Please be aware that driving down the line is not wise on the freeways. Learn how to merge. Please do not merge into other cars. Please try driving at least 60mph on the freeway during the lunch rush hour.
Yes, I drive a japanese car with after-market modifications. Yes, my car is not stock height. No, I'm not Asian. No, I don't want to be.